


Zarcalka

by ThatDamnCajun



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Curse, F/F, Murder Mystery, swanqueen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-03
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2018-12-23 12:37:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11989947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatDamnCajun/pseuds/ThatDamnCajun
Summary: Emma has been sentenced to the Zarcalka Institute for the Criminally Insane for a horrendous crime. Dr. Regina Mills is her psychiatrist while there. Can they figure things out before Emma is released back into society? "Em, please-" "No. You don't get to call me that. She called me that."Tags to be updated as story updates.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as an original story which started out as a potential role play between a friend and I. So this is basically an ode to him. Will update when I can, but just be patient.

It was not an unfamiliar sight to see a woman entering an insane asylum in this day and age. Many women who entered had tried to break free of the civilized mold created for them and had simply snapped. Reporters nearly always crowded the front steps of the Zarcalka Institute, some seemingly having taken up permanent residence, but all equally eager to catch even the smallest glimpse of the latest crazy to be sentenced to a life behind the cold stone walls.. The women, more often than not, bore frightened expressions, complete with wide, fearful eyes and fidgety hands, and had the need of being assisted with exiting the back of the grey transportation trucks that bore the institute's name in plain white lettering along the sides.

A low rumbling sound in the distance alerted the reporters to the imminent arrival of the latest patient. They began to chatter excitedly as they counted down the minutes until the truck would make its way to the front door. This crazy, as the reporters affectionately dubbed all who entered Zarcalka, was not like the others. While the previous women had been admitted for normal causes, hysteria and such, this one particular woman was special, peeking their interest ever since the story had broken a week prior.

The large grey truck turned off of the main road, taking a right just after the wooden sign that read "Zarcalka Institute for the Criminally Insane." The occupant could feel the transition from the once smooth road to the bumpy gravel driveway. The back door of the vehicle let in just enough light for the woman to take in the few surroundings. The walls were a dark grey. The ceiling was a dark grey. The floor was a dark grey. Even what little sky she could see through the barred window was dark grey.

As she shifted, the heavy chains around her ankles clinked and the handcuffs cut into her wrists ever so slightly, every movement making the metal rub the fair skin more raw, the only indication being the band of pink skin around the area. The metal felt cold against her skin, feeling colder than it should given the snow outside the vehicle. The woman tried to adjust the handcuffs, attempting to rub some feeling back into her icy appendages, as her mind began to wander back to the event that caused her to be sitting in the back of the truck that was currently taking her to the insane asylum. She closed her eyes and let the memories wash over her with a low sigh.

_The air was chilly against her exposed skin as she walked down the street, her heels striking sharply against the concrete sidewalk. She wobbled slightly with an unsure step as she drew the jacket closer around her just as a gust of wind blew small snow flurries into her face and hair. The want to turn around and return home to change into more comfortable clothing was strong, but she had been given specific instructions to dress nice for the evening ahead. Dressing nice meant donning the previously picked out outfit that had been set aside the night before. That's why she was currently walking down the street with uncomfortably high heels accenting the red dress that was mostly hidden beneath the black pea coat. As the wind gusted once more, she wished she had grabbed the trench coat instead._

_The familiar walkway came into view and the woman quickened her step with a wide smile blooming on her face. Her feet carried her up the walkway and to the large front door, her hand instantly reaching for the doorknob that felt icy against her palm. Her mind didn't dwell on the feeling long, knowing that she would be greeted by the sweetest of warmths once she stepped over the threshold._

_The door was pushed open quickly with the want to feel the warmth on the other side. The warmth that she was expecting never came. Instead she felt her blood run cold as her blood ran cold. The person she had come to meet was there in the foyer, their gaze locked with her own, though it held no warmth like she had expected. In fact, the gaze held nothing at all._

The high pitched squealing of the truck's brake pulled the woman from her thoughts. It was only then that she noticed the excited chatter just outside the door. There was a jingle of keys in the lock before the door opened, letting light and frosty air into the back of the truck. The occupant winced as her eyes attempted to adjust to the newfound light.

Dozens of eager bodies stood outside of the asylum, some of them men and some women, all holding tiny note pads, ready to ask questions and write down false statements at the expense of getting praise from their bosses. Their eager expressions quickly fell away as the woman stepped out from the shadows of the back of the truck. The reporters were not accustomed with seeing such a woman exit the back of a Zarcalka truck before.

Her appearance fit the part perfectly; blonde hair dull and limp, eyes slightly sunken in and cheeks beginning to hollow. But those stunning green eyes gave the group of reporters a piercing look as a whole. Her expression did not reveal fear or uncertainty. In fact, it revealed nothing. Her cold eyes and slightly pursed lips let the reporters know that she was in no mood for their antics. However, that did not stop them.

"Why did you murder that innocent woman?"

"Did you really do it?"

"Were you having an affair with her?"

Hundreds of questions fell upon the woman's ears, but her expression remained unchanged. The annoying chatter of the media's vultures died down abruptly as the woman entered Zarcalka and the doors shut firmly behind her.

A woman wearing an unnervingly cheery smile and an obnoxiously yellow suit greeted her from the foot of the stairway. "Welcome to Zarcalka, Miss Swan. I trust that you will enjoy your stay with us."

Emma raised a questioning eyebrow at the woman. Not only was her suit obnoxiously yellow, but her voice was obnoxiously and sickenly sweet. Emma knew that she would not enjoy her stay. "I do not belong here." Her voice was calm and even, unlike the voices of women who had come before her.

The greeter maintained her smile. "Let me show you around. It is best that you get acquainted with the facility. I would rather it be sooner than later, but it matters not. You have an extended stay with us." She let out a small giggle before turning to walk down a long corridor.

Emma watched the woman walk away with masked frustration. It was not until a guard shoved her from behind and she stumbled forward that she began to follow. The sight made Emma smirk; a bright yellow orb at the end of a long tunnel. That's how her life felt at that moment. It had only been a few minutes, and Emma did not know how she would bare the undecided amount of time at Zarcalka.


	2. Chapter 2

A week and a half had passed since Emma first walked through the doors of Zarcalka. A week and a half of the same routine that basically consisted of waking up and ambling around the facility between meal times before returning to the cells to be locked in until morning. Ten days of the same song and dance. But the eleventh day was different.

Emma sat on her bed, knees drawn up to her chest. Her eyes scanned the small room she was occupying and took inventory once again. One average sized window, complete with bars on both sides of the glass, sat just above the bed. The walls, concrete and cold, matching the floor. And the single large metal door that kept her confined in the room, with the small window that allowed her to peer out into the hallway. IT also allowed people to peer into her room. Just like the pair of dark brown eyes that locked gaze with her own green ones.

The eyes crinkled in the corners before a soft chuckle was heard. "Good day to you," came the slightly deep and husky voice. There was a clink noise before the door opened with a low groan, the old hinges protesting at the movement. The woman standing just on the other side of the threshold was young, looking to be in her mid to late twenties. Her eyes were dark in color yet warm in nature. Emma's eyes scanned her up and down multiple times before they finally settled on her face.

"I'm Regina Mills, and I'm going to be your psychologist while you are here at Zarcalka." She leaned against the door frame casually and gave Emma a warm smile. Emma blinked at her, feeling disbelief and confusion wash over her.

"I thought you were…. When did you…. How?"

Regina chuckled again. "Let's not concern ourselves with overwhelming questions just yet. I'll see you in my office tomorrow for our appointment. I just wanted to introduce myself beforehand."

With her final words said, she walked away, leaving Emma to stare at the spot where the brunette had previously stood. She was still in shock when a guard walked up a minute or so later.

"Are you going to sit there looking stupid all day, or are you coming out?"

Emma blinked and shook her head slowly, hair falling into her face. She pushed it back, tucking it behind her ear, as she looked at the guard. "No, thank you. I think I'll stay here. I need time to think."

"Suit yourself," he said as he closed the door. "Weirdo." Emma heard him mutter as he walked away, the keys on his hip jingling loudly in the empty corridor. And Emma sat there, her mind still milling around about Dr. Regina Mills and their upcoming appointment.

[SQ]

Emma timidly knocked upon the large wooden door. She was nervous about her first meeting with a certain Dr. Mills. She picked at the dirt under her nails nervously as the door opened and the warm smiling face of the doctor greeted her.

"Ah, Miss Swan, right on time. I must say that I expected you to be late. You don't strike me as a very punctual woman." She stepped aside and extended a hand towards a chair placed in front of the desk. "Please come in and have a seat."

The office was a bit on the smaller side, the size seeming even less that it was given the stacks of boxes lining the walls. Though it was slightly claustrophobic it still had a homey feel to it.

Emma's feet moved of their own accord, not wanting to be ride to the woman. Her eyes stayed glued to the woman's face as she walked past. She looked so much like –. Emma pushed the thought from her head almost immediately as she took a seat in the pre-offered chair. She heard the sound of the door clicking closed before the doctor moved to sit behind her desk. Regina opened a brown folder and looked up at Emma once more.

"I apologize for the clutter," she explained as she pulled a pen from her desk drawer. "I've only just recently moved into this office." Regina looked down at the file briefly before looking back up at Emma. "How about we start with something simple, yes? How would you describe your relationship with the departed?"

* * *

_They were shy towards each other._

_The young girls each clung to their respective mothers, eyeing the other person nervously despite the repeated words coming from their parents._

_"_ _It's alright. You should make friends. It'll make school more fun."_

_The little brunette moved from her mother's legs first, her blue dress flowing around her knees with her movements. "Do you want to play?" she asked in her childish voice. The blonde girl nodded before taking the other girl's hand as they walked away to play with some toys in the corner. They were six._

* * *

_They had become friends._

_The two girls ran side by side, matching grins plastered on each one's face as they raced down the field in the park. The kites they toted along at the end of strings caught in the wind and rose high into the air._

_"_ _I'm going to win!" the blonde shouted. She pressed harder, her little feet pounding the ground quicker to speed ahead of the other girl. When she turned to look up at her kit she didn't notice that the brunette girl had caught up and was right behind her. The blonde toppled over her own feet as the brunette ran into her. The two children fell to the ground before dissolving into a fit of giggles as the two kites fell beside them._

_"_ _I think we can call that a tie. What to you think?" the brunette asked as she stood and helped the blonde to her feet, dusting the dirt and grass from her friend's pants before turning her attention to her own clothing._

_"_ _A tie it is," the blonde agreed with a laugh as they picked up their kites to try again. They were ten._

* * *

_They had become a couple._

_The brunette held the school books against her chest, arms crossing at her wrists. She shuffled her feet as she reached up to push some hair behind her ear that had escaped her braid._

_The blonde was leaning her should against the row of lockers, her books hanging loosely by her side. Her face was tinged pink with nervousness, lips repeatedly disappearing back between her teeth as she tried to gather her wits about her and just ask the question already. She pushed the black rimmed glasses further up her nose with a slightly shaky hand._

_"_ _So…" the brunette began, trying to prompt a conversation between the two of them. "Are you ready for –"_

_"_ _Do you want to grab a shake at the diner right now?" the blonde blurted. Her expression contorted into a mix of embarrassment for cutting the other girl off and nervous uncertainty of what her answer might be._

_"_ _Like a date?" the brunette asked after a pause, her eyes looking up at the blonde hopefully._

_She nodded vigorously. "Yes, like a date."_

_The brunette looked down shyly before glancing up at the other girl, biting her lip. There was a small twinkle in her eyes. "I would like that a lot."_

_The blonde's face broke out in a lopsided grin as she offered her arm to the brunette. She took it with a smile as they walked away from the lockers. They were seventeen._

* * *

_They had become lovers._

_Their lips crashed together as naked bodies pressed against each other and hands roamed the other's skin. What had started out as slow languid kisses had soon turned hungry and needy. Loving glances had turned lustful before clothes had been pulled off in a hasty fashion and rained down upon the bedroom floor without a care. The brunette moved her kisses from the blonde's lips to her neck as they fell back upon the bed, her body settling easily between the blonde's thighs._

_"_ _This is the thing, right?" the blonde panted, her body coming alive at the new sensations she was feeling. "The thing is finally happening."_

_The brunette chuckled against her neck, nipping the skin playfully before she pulled away to look down at her girlfriend. "Yes, love. We are really doing this." Her dark eyes softened as she looked down at the woman before her, taking in how her eyes were shining in excitement and the way her blonde locks fanned out around her in a golden halo. "You still want this, right?"_

_The blonde nodded quickly, her hands reaching up to cup the cheeks of the girl she had long ago fallen in love with. "Yes. I still want this. Only with you." She smiled dopily as she pulled the brunette down so they could kiss again, this time taking it slower and drawing out the kisses._

_The brunette trailed a finger down the blonde's chest, letting it ghost down the valley between her beasts before circling around her navel and dropping lower to run through velvet folds. The blonde gasped, her hips instantly bucking at the new feeling as she bit her lip to stifle a moan. The brunette smirked, pecking pink lips once more before moving down the blondes body to settle fully between her parted legs. She glanced up at the blonde, watching her heaving chest and the way her hands fidgeted._

_"_ _I don't know what to do with my hands," the blonde said, lifting her head to look down at the brunette between her legs. The dark hungry look in her eyes caused the blonde to let out another moan._

_The brunette chuckled as she reached up to grab the fidgeting hands and placed them atop her head, giving them an encouraging squeeze before focusing her attention back to what she had been doing. Chancing one last glance up at the blonde, she leaned forward and let her tongue confidently trace the same path her finger had previously stroked._

_"_ _Ah, fuck!" The blonde tightened her hold on dark locks, pulling the other woman closer to her core._

_The brunette chuckled, letting the vibrations wash over the blonde. She turned her attention to the small nub begging for her attention, wrapping her lips around it and flicking her tongue across it as she pressed a single finger into the warm channel, pumping it slowly a few times before adding a second finger. The flexing of fingers against her scalp let her know that she was doing a good job. She curled her fingers, pressing against the rough patch just so. The steady chants of her name broken only by pants and moans were music to her ears. When she felt the first flutters around her fingers, she grazed her teeth against the small bundle of nerves before sucking hard on it._

_What had started as a tightening in her lower belly had quickly turned to a warm that started at her toes and moved quickly to all other parts of her body causing the blonde's back to arch up, her fingers to grip the head between her legs, and her mouth to open on a silent cry as she rode the first waves of the powerful orgasm the racked her. As the tingling sensation began to wane, she fell back to the bed, her mind finally catching up to her body as she gasped to fill her lungs with much needed air._

_The brunette had crawled up her body, peering down at her with concerned eyes. "Are you alright?" she whispered._

_The blonde looked up at her before letting out a small laugh. "Yeah. I'm fine. But damn, where did you learn to do that?"_

_The brunette felt her cheeks heat up with a blush. "I read a lot." She bit her lip before grinning down at the blonde. "Looks like it paid off."_

_"_ _It most certainly did. But now it's my turn to repay the favor." The blonde let her hands run up and down her lover's naked back. "I, uh…. I don't exactly know what to do."_

_"_ _It's alright. I didn't know either. But I'm sure you can't mess it up."_

_The brunette leaned down to capture the blonde's lips in a deep kiss as the blonde's hands moved to more desirable areas. And just like the brunette had said, she didn't mess it. They were twenty._

* * *

Emma eyed the doctor as she was drawn from her thoughts. "We were close," she finally answered, folding her hands together and placing them in her lap.

Regina nodded and made a note in the folder. "Were you two intimate?"

"Yes." Emma did not hesitate in her response.

"Was there another woman? A man, perhaps? Is that why you killed her?"

"I did not kill her." She pronounced each word slowly, eyes glaring daggers at the woman sitting across the desk from her. "Just because I was the one that found her doesn't mean that I'm the one who did it." She rose from her seat, turning to walk from the office.

"Now, Em, why –"

"Don't." Emma turned back around to face the doctor, tears threatening to fall from her eyes. Her voice cracked when she spoke, though she willed it not to. "She used to call me that. You do not get to call me that."

She didn't wait for Regina to peak again as she walked from the office seeking the comfort of her room, even if it was cold and bare. She could drown in her memories in peace there away from the probing words of Dr. Regina Mills.


	3. Chapter 3

Day by day, Emma could feel herself falling further and further into a slump. She had not seen Dr. Mills since that first visit and her guilt for walking out on the woman only seemed to grow. Once she had realized that the doctor was simply doing her job, Emma felt horrible for how she had reacted.

In the days that had passed since seeing Dr. Mills, Emma had been introduced to another doctor working at the facility, Dr. Archibald Hopper. And it was to his office that Emma found herself being escorted. It was different from her visit with Dr. Mills in that she was actually being walked to this appointment whereas she had been able to walk to the other one freely.

Upon her arrival, Dr. Hopper, who insisted that she simply call him Archie, had shooed away the guard so that him and Emma could begin their session. Unlike Regina's office, Archie's office was larger and more inviting. The walls were a warm burnt orange color that seemed to be lighter than they actually were due to the wall of windows that lined one side of office. Sure, the windows had the same bars running across them that Emma's room did, but it was nice to be able to look out and take in the sunlight.

Archie gestured for Emma to take a seat on the old couch. Emma sat, letting her hands run over the worn leather. Sliding her feet from the slippers she wore, she pulled her feet up on the couch and sat cross-legged, looking at Archie and waiting for him to begin. The red-haired man gave Emma a warm smile as he set her folder down in his lap.

"Let's start with some small things," Archie began, his focus entirely on Emma. "Why don't you tell me about your stay here at Zarcalka?"

Emma took a breath, choosing to peer out of the window as she spoke. "I don't particularly like it here. Frankly, I don't believe I belong here. But apparently I have to because of a crime that I did not commit, by the way." Emma let out a small huff and closed her eyes, trying to calm herself. Anger would not help her case. When she opened her eyes, Archie was still sitting with his hands folded calmly in his lap. So she continued. "I'm also seeing Dr. Regina Mills. Her office isn't as nice as yours. And we sort of got off on the wrong foot." She reached up to rub the back of her neck.

Archie raised a brow at her words. "Dr. Mills, you said?" he questioned, opening the file to glance at her paperwork.

"Yeah," Emma nodded. "She said she's new here."

Archie scribbled down a few notes in her folder. "Yes. I had heard that we were acquiring a new doctor, but I have yet to meet her. Tell me about your session with her."

"Um… Well, I have a session with her again this afternoon. Last time we talked about if I was close with…. If I was close with the victim." Emma trailed off, looking down at her lap as she began to fidget with her fingernails.

Archie gave her a few minutes to collect her thoughts before he gently prompted, "And were you?"

"Yes," she whispered before clearing her throat and looking back up at Archie. "We were very close. Engaged actually." Her hand moved to fidget around her ring finger, the move pointing out a band of pale skin where a ring had once resided.

Archie kept his facial expressions neutral as he continued to write notes down in her folder. "I'm sorry for your loss."

"So you don't think I did it?"

"I do not hold an opinion on the matter. I am simply here to help you." He held up his hands as he spoke. "I know this was rather short, but I would like to end this session here. I'm sure you don't mind the extra time to prepare for your session with Dr. Mills, do you?"

Emma shook her head as she stood. This meeting had gone far better than she had anticipated and with a lot less probing questions as the ones Regina had thrown at her. She thanked Archie before heading out of the office. As she turned down one of the hallways, she stopped.

Perhaps Regina would be free to see her sooner than they had planned? With that in mind, Emma backtracked a few steps before heading off in the opposite direction. No one passed her as she moved quickly down the hall that Regina's office was on. She came to the wooden door and knocked upon it three times. There was a small pause before the woman opened the door.

"Miss Swan, I wasn't expecting to see you until this afternoon."

As always, her smile was warm and her eyes crinkled at the corners just slightly. The sight instantly put Emma at ease, though she didn't know why.

"I was wondering if we could have my session early today to make up for the time we missed last time."

"Ah. You mean when you so graciously ran out on me?"

Emma looked down at her feet, shuffling them. She blinked and was startled when two tan fingers tucked themselves under her chin and tilted her head back up so that she was looking back at Regina.

"I'm sorry about that," Emma said in a soft voice. "It's just that she would call me that."

"I understand. I am sorry to have upset you." Regina removed her fingers from under Emma's chin and stepped aside so the blonde woman could enter the office.

Emma immediately took the same seat as before, slouching down in it to try to get comfortable. Regina took a seat behind her desk, pulling open the bottom drawer and procuring Emma's file, laying it on the desk top. The two women stared each other down for a few minutes, neither one of them speaking. Emma was the first one to break the silence.

"You look a lot like her. She had dark hair and brown eyes, too."

"And so when I called you by the name that she once called you it triggered something in you?"

Emma nodded, focusing on her fingers drumming against the arm of the chair. "I just really miss her. It feels like this is just one big nightmare and I'm going to wake up and she'll be there waiting for me like she should've been."

Regina scribbled down a few notes in the file. "Why don't you tell me about the night you found her?"

_Emma turned the knob quickly and opened the door, eager to be surrounded by the warmth of the home and the warmth of her love. She was also eager to get the night started, the two of them heading out to have a date night, something Emma had been looking forward to for days._

_"_ _Babe, I'm here," she called out as she walked through the doorway, lips already curled into a smile. But the smile fell quickly as her eyes fell upon the scene before her._

_Dark eyes stared back at her from the floor, open, expressionless, and unmoving. The body of her partner lay in an odd position in a puddle of her own blood, the front of the dress torn at the chest where the bullet had entered. The blonde felt her heart stop._

Emma squeezed her eyes shut as she tried to forget what she had seen that night. Shaking her head and gritting her teeth, she reached up to run her fingers through her hair and hold on tight. Her eyes burned with the threat of tears that she knew were going to fall soon.

"There was so much blood." Her voice cracked as she spoke. "She was just lying there in the foyer when I walked in. We were supposed to be having a date night and instead she was on the floor in her own blood."

Regina nodded, staying quiet and letting Emma talk about that night without interruption. She simply scribbled down notes in the folder, glancing up at the blonde that sat across from her.

Sobs started to wrack Emma's body as she tried to continue her description of what she had seen, tears flowing freely down her face. Regina set the pen down and moved around the desk, leaning against the front of it as she reached for Emma's hands, rubbing her thumbs along the backs.

"Miss Swan?" she said, trying to make the blonde look at her.

Emma squeezed her eyes tight one last time before looking up at the doctor in front of her. Regina gave her a small smile as she plucked a tissue from the desk and wiped Emma's face.

"I'm sorry to have upset you by asking you to tell me about that night."

Emma swallowed, shaking her head slightly. "But I have to tell the story. People have to know that I'm innocent. They have to know that I didn't do it."

"If you didn't do it, then who did?"

"I… I don't know." Emma sounded defeated, letting her hands fall from Regina's grasp as she looked down at the floor. "I can't think of anyone who would do such a cruel thing to another person."

"There was no evidence found that suggested another person was in the home besides you," Regina said, lowering herself to the floor so that she was more eye-level with Emma. "The evidence points to you, Emma."

"But I didn't do it!" Emma let out a loud huff, her heart starting to beat quickly with her rising anger. Everyone was quick to point the finger at her but no one was taking the time to listen to her side. No one believed her.

"I know," Regina said softly, giving Emma a small smile. "Something in my gut tells me that you are being honest."

Emma blinked at the dark haired woman. "You believe me?"

Regina nodded. "I do. But remember that you are not here because they believe you did it. You are here because they believe you are suffering from mental issues pertaining to the accident."

Emma rolled her eyes as Regina stood to lean against the desk again. "Right. Because they think I'm crazy."

Regina shrugged her shoulders. "It really doesn't matter what they think. It all comes down to what I believe and what Doctor Hopper believes. It is our opinions that matter the most and it is our opinions that will allow you to leave this facility and return to a normal life."

Emma couldn't help but snort at the last statement. "It's going to be pretty hard to go back to living a normal life after losing the love of my life."

"Oh, Emma. You'll find another to love. Everyone always does."

Emma looked up at her doctor. That was the first time the woman had used her first name instead of calling her by her surname. It felt odd to hear it. She stood, still looking at Regina. The doctor stayed leaning against her desk, giving Emma the same warm smile that had barely left her lips.

"Are you sure about that?" she whispered.

Regina nodded once more. "I'm positive."

Emma stood there, contemplating her next words and actions. Something about the doctor just seemed so familiar to her, though she knew that it was all in her head. But she couldn't tell that to anyone for the fear that they would deem her crazy and keep her at Zarcalka longer than she had to be. But what would be the harm in seeing if that familiarity spread to other areas.

Regina tilted her head with a lifted eyebrow after catching that look in Emma's eyes. "What are you thinking about?"

"I'm thinking I'm going to test a theory," Emma said before reaching out to grab the lapels of Regina's white coat and pull her forward to crash their lips together.


	4. Chapter 4

Her lips were soft and warm and she tasted of apples and cinnamon.  Emma couldn't help but groan softly.  The same feeling of familiarity washed over her once more.  But then the reality of her actions came back to her and her eyes popped open, only to be greeted by the closed eyes of Dr. Mills.  And if she wasn't mistaken, the brunette was kissing her back, moving her lips softly against Emma's.  The blonde closed her eyes once more and enjoyed the rest of the kiss until she felt warm hands covering her own and gently pushing her away.  She blinked her eyes open once more and stared at the doctor.

That same warm smile greeted her this time, just like it always did.  This woman was a walking ball of sunshine and Emma wasn't exactly sure how she felt about it just yet.  She noticed the woman's lips moving and shook her head to get out of her daze.  "I'm sorry.  What did you say?"

A rich laugh reached her ears.  "I said, how did the theory testing turn out?"

Emma instantly felt her cheeks heat up with a blush and she looked down at her now shuffling feet. Her words were soft and mumbled. Almost instantly there was a finger tucking back under her chin and lifted her face.  "Please try again, dear," came from the doctor.

"It left me with more questions than answers," Emma repeated as Regina removed her fingers from under her chin.

"I would imagine so."  She moved back behind her desk and took a seat, scribbling down some notes in Emma's folder.  "Can you tell me about these questions?"

Emma returned to the chair and fell into it with a huff.  Where should she even begin.  "You give me this vibe, right?  Like, just this sense of familiarity.  And I'm not sure why you're giving me this feeling.  But it's really strange, you know?  And I... I just thought....."  Emma trailed off for a moment with a small sigh.  "I just thought that maybe if I kissed you I would get an answer.  And in a way I did because that feeling was even stronger.  But it's just so weird."

"Because I remind you of her."  It was a statement, not a question.  And Emma's looked up to see Regina looking back at her, the smile less prominent now, but the expression still warm. 

Emma nodded, feeling the sting of tears behind her eyes.  Damn emotions and hormones.  "Yeah," she managed to choke out, "you do."  She grabbed the edge of her shirt collar and lifted it to wipe at her eyes.  "It's really hard.  I just want her back and I know that's not going to happen."

There was a silence as Emma sniffled and looked up to see Regina's smile was completely gone and her warmth was lacking.  "I know what you mean," she said with complete sincerity.  "I, too, lost someone very close to me. It's quite difficult to move on without her, but in the end I know it's what she would've wanted."  She paused for a second.  "What would she have wanted from you, Emma?"

That made Emma think.  What would she have wanted Emma to do?  They had been together for years and were on their way to getting married, and yet Emma had no clue what would have been asked of her; what was currently being unspokenly asked of her.  "I... I don't know," she said softly.  "I want to say that she would want me to move on because that's what everyone always says.  But, would she really want me to move on and forget about her?"

"Would you ever forget about her?"

There was a snort.  "Gods no.  I could never forget about her.  She was my everything.  We've known each other since we started school, high school sweet hearts, the whole deal.  A match made in heaven."  She closed her mouth and tried to steer her thoughts way from memory lane.  But yet, that's all she had left of her beloved.  She needed a distraction.  "Tell me about you lost one."

Regina gave Emma a startled expression.  That was no something she had expected.  "Oh. Well let's see."  Emma could see her clear her throat before she began.  "We were much like you, having been together for a number of years.  She had light hair and eyes that I could get lost in."  Emma saw the small wistful smile play across Regina's face. "I loved her with all my heart and was ready to take that next step with her.  But the universe had other plans for us." She shrugged her shoulders.  "And now I'm here."

"We're so much alike." Emma whispered in awe.  And it was true, the similarities in their stories striking.  "Maybe this psychologist thing won't be so bad after all."

Regina let out a small laugh at that.  "Perhaps you are right, Emma.  How about we call it day, hmm?  I think we've talked enough for this session."

Emma nodded eagerly and stood up, just as the doctor did across the desk.  "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. I'll see you around, doc."  And she turned to leave.  But as she got to the door her name was called and she stopped to look back.  "Yeah?"

"Perhaps next time you can test that theory again." A small smirk was the last thing she saw as she exited the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me for my absence, guys. I promise this will be completed in time. It's just a little hard to write sometimes. If there's anything you would like to see happen between the ladies, or if you have any speculations as to what is going on here, shoot me an email. Comments and kudos are always wanted.


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